Chocolate Milk



You wake up. It’s a bright and early 8:27 on Saturday morning.  A whole weekend of games, adventure and fun await you and your best friend. You jump out of bed in your ‘Action-Man’ PJ’s and run down stairs.

There in the center of the living room sits the magical glass box. A portal to your favorite cartoon show. Your mean older sister is still sound asleep and both your parents are out on an early morning brunch date.

The TV is all yours.

Quick as a flash you fly to the remote. There’s the familiar sound of crackling electricity. It springs to life. You flip through the channels until you hear it; the Action-Man theme.

Before the show moves into full swing you rush to the kitchen. You grab a plastic bowl from the bottom shelf and–using a chair–grab a box of Sucrose O’ from atop the refrigerator. The door swings open. Cold air falls upon your bare feet. You reach for the milk but stop. There’s also chocolate milk.

Your parents aren’t home. Who’s gonna know? You grab the carton and a tidal wave of rich brown milk floods your cereal.


What is chocolate milk?

This delicious drink has its origins in Jamaica with Sir Hans Sloane; Irish botanist, physician, naturalist and man of great hair.


During his 15 month visit at the tail end of the 1600’s he cataloged nearly 800 new species in Latin and drank what the locals called ‘cacao’ or coco mixed with water. The drink tended to cause Sir Sloane nausea so he took to (in what I can only imagine was a moment of divine inspiration on par with the creation of Adam) mixing the coco with milk. He brought this back with him when he returned to Europe and the rest is history.

(The drink is credited to him although many other egg, spice, milk and chocolate recipes were already in circulation. I took to using this narrative as it is the most common one and I enjoy having someone to give credit to for possibly the greatest creation ever.)

Like all wonderful things there is a downside to chocolate milk. It contains nearly as much sugar per fluid ounce as soda. Some schools had even banned chocolate milk from being served in the cafeteria although it has since been overturned.

For every downside there is also an upside. In part due to it’s similarity with regular milk, chocolate milk makes an excellent post-workout drink. However it’s higher ratio of good carbs makes it superior to the unchocolafied version. So excluding lactose intolerance and dairy induced sickness go for a glass of rich chocolate instead of Gatorade, it tastes better and is better for you.

Chocolate milk also comes it 2 ‘strict’ but 3 ‘soft’ forms.

  1. Mass produced. These are your Crystal Creameries, your TruMoo and your Horizon Organic
  2. Homemade.
    1. Powdered such as Ovaltine
    2. Syrup such as Hershey
  3. Really Homemade. Family recipes which include: milk, sugar and coco powder. They may also include other ingredients like eggs, vanilla extract and Irish creamer (for the adults of course)

Finally chocolate milk is not alone in the flavored milk kingdom. It is joined by strawberry milk, banana milk, vanilla milk, milk shakes, malts, chocolate liqueur, creamers as well as other. It is, however, the undisputed king.

Why am I talking about chocolate milk? Because of the recent appearance of the “Choccy Milk” memes. It gave me a hankering so I did what any good scientist would do–after buying a gallon to drink–I got to researching.

Now you know a little bit more about America’s favorite dairy drink. If you have anything to add leave a comment below otherwise grab yourself  a glass of goodness and enjoy the cartoons.


Contact Coordinates:

Butterflies & Machineguns  for all my stories

Twitch for all my game streams

IG: @steelmemesanddankbeams for daily funny pictures

@daily_cute_dose for daily cute pictures (new)

Facebook, Tumblr and Twitter for you to stay informed.

Patreon for me to make ends meet. Pledges start at just $2 a month.

Even if you don’t pledge to me on patreon all my content is still here for you to enjoy. The next best thing you can do is to follow me at all the above links, to share things you read, to like things you share and to comment.

Never stop creating,

-Tye Files



11 thoughts on “Chocolate Milk

  1. i used to “reward” myself with chocolate milk. After I had gotten the house cleaned up or gotten the yard work done, I had my big glass of Nestles’ chocolate milk.
    I gave up milk about four years ago but I still remember the taste. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Chocolate milk doesn’t come from brown cows? That’s what my brothers told me when I was a toddler. Surely, big brothers wouldn’t lie to their little sister, right?

    I enjoyed the post, and even though I do, in fact, know how chocolate milk is made (thanks to the dairy visit in grade school), I learned something. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. As a kid I only drank chocolate milk bc I HATED the taste of reg milk. Then when I finally made the connection between my upset stomach and milk, I was excused from having to drink it with dinner (I used to have to sit at the table until the milk was gone and I wouldn’t drink it).
    If I ever HAD to drink milk, it’d be chocolate all the way. And then I’d get sick.
    And that dude does have awesome hair. Those wigs were crazy!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s